Everything I Watched in 2021
107 Movies, 6 Limited Series & 4 Seasons of Television
PIECES OF A WOMAN (2020)
The first half-hour of this is at the same time incredibly uncomfortable and unbelievably engrossing. I was squirming the entire time but I couldn’t for a second take my eyes off of the screen. The filmmaking was masterful and the performances met that high bar. By the time we finally cut to black at exactly 30:30 on the playback timeline, I was sweating, about to cry, sick to my stomach, and exhausted.
ONE NIGHT IN MIAMI (2021)
The four leads seem like they had a lot of fun playing these roles, and that absolutely translates to the viewer. I thoroughly enjoyed watching them shoot the shit with each other. It was enthralling to listen to these successful black men debate their collective struggle, coming at the core problems from different life perspectives and worldviews.
BABYTEETH (2019)
It wasn’t until the second half of the movie (maybe the final quarter) that I started to get a grip on what exactly I was watching. And that’s not because the film was confusing, or disorganized, or anything like that.
This story is about a terminally ill teenaged girl who is trying to make the most of the time she has left in the world. That sounds like it would be overwhelmingly sad, and maybe even melodramatic. But this movie skips over the really nasty stuff about the illness and only shows how it spills into the positive moments she’s trying to collect before her time is up.
There is real suffering happening offscreen, between the scenes, and for a while, that struck me as a flaw, because I felt like I was missing something. And the thing is, I was missing something — I was missing a lot. For the entirety of this movie, you don’t realize just how much is happening offscreen. But in the end, you FEEL how much was happening. The dust begins to settle and you realize that, somehow, your mind has filled in the blanks, and all of it hits you like you never missed a thing.
THE BIG SHORT (2015)
This movie is extraordinarily more fun than it has any business being, given the subject matter. The soundtrack is fun. The editing is fun. The characters are fun to watch. The dialogue is fun. The narration is fun, and the narrative they’ve constructed is fun. The tone this film strikes is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The pacing is frenetic, and the stakes are constantly rising. You know what the outcome is going to be — you know a car crash is coming, and you can’t look away.
CUJO (1983)
The first half of this is spent building empathy for these characters, including Cujo, who is sort of made out to be a tragic character — a friendly dog stricken by a disease. These are all incredibly interesting people who all have a lot going on in their lives.
At the midpoint, the killings start and Cujo begins to live up to his infamous reputation — and boy, does he. At one point, trying to calm her son down, Donna says, “It’s not a monster. It’s just a doggie.” I’ve seen few movie monsters scarier than this doggie.
KNIVES OUT (2019)
The way that I want to describe this movie is by first talking about its detective. This is a story that would remind readers of the mystery genre of the Queen of Mystery herself, Agatha Christie — and in particular of her most famous protagonist, Hercule Poirot. It is no accident that Rian Johnson named his detective Benoit Blanc and put him at the head of a mystery in the vain of Agatha Christie. It is also not an accident that this character named Benoit Blanc has a thick southern drawl. The moment we learned his name and then first heard him speak should have told us everything we needed to know for how the next two hours were going to unfold.
This film is masterfully written to subvert expectations in all the best ways — even subverting the subverted expectations at times. Some of the most important information is placed right under your nose. I would say it’s “hidden” under your nose, but the fact of the matter is it’s not hidden at all. Quite a few vital answers are given fairly early on, raising the intrigue exponentially, now that our presumptions based on classic mystery stories have been shattered. Those familiar with the classic stories would think certain reveals should take place near the end, but in this story, they are revealed far earlier than expected. Johnson plays the audience like a fiddle for two hours straight. And amidst all of that, he managed to sneak in some truly powerful political commentary.
GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK. (2005)
I am not one to watch a movie twice in short succession. Often, I don’t rewatch movies I enjoy for a year or more. When I was in school, I had to watch this movie three times in as many days because it was the subject I chose for a paper I had to write. Not only did I enjoy watching it every time, but I looked forward to watching it. For a film about politics and the news media, it goes down as smooth as any film I’ve ever seen. It’s air tight. It’s elegant. And it feels almost as timely now as it probably would have if it came out in the late 50s.
You’re really given the feeling of being in the room with these extraordinary people, listening in on their conversations and basking in their silences, living through this tumultuous time, watching the legend Edward R. Murrow do what he did best. Our eyes are just two among the dozens in the studio with him and the millions of Americans watching from the televisions in their homes.
THE VAST OF NIGHT (2019)
There is a real feeling of momentum that builds in this film — and almost all of it is created by the words in the script designed to be said by actors. When the dialogue is snappy, you feel the energy. But as it slows down, and you’re gradually fed the various accounts about the suspected extraterrestrial activity, each story builds on top of the one before it until we reach the climax and all of it comes to a head. Sometimes it’s hard to believe every word that is being said, but it’s also hard to deny that there are strange things afoot in this small town in New Mexico. Sometimes it’s hard to sit through the long monologues, but this is a film about a radio disc jockey and a switchboard operator who’s obsessed with her new voice recorder, so long monologues and strings of endless dialogue feel fitting for these unique circumstances. The story is told almost entirely via dialogue — as if you were listening to it on the radio, or playing it back on a tape recorder.
ACCEPTED (2006)
Let’s not downplay how iconic this movie is. The characters are iconic. The dialogue is iconic. The jokes and gags are iconic. I watched this so many times in the late 2000s that it seared itself into my brain. I hadn’t seen it in probably close to ten years but my mind still had so much of what is said and done in this memorized. I can’t wait so long between rewatches. It’s just a fun way to spend 94 minutes.
AMERICAN PIE (1999)
I gotta say, over twenty years later, the cringe holds up. The dive into the painful awkwardness of the horny teenager is the best part of this — most of it is provided by Jim’s character. The movie is at its most entertaining when the scenes are revolving around him. It also definitely helps that Eugene Levy is fucking incredible at his job.
SAW (2004)
I swear to God, the beginning of this was so wildly silly that I thought I accidentally clicked on a Saw parody. I’ve never seen this movie, so I had to check if I was duped into clicking on a convincingly well-made thumbnail. The acting, the editing, the script, it’s all so goofy, I thought there was no way I was watching the right movie. It certainly doesn’t get any better from there, but I learned to accept it after a while — or maybe I was just distracted by the promise of blood and guts.
DRAG ME TO HELL (2009)
From the creator of The Evil Dead comes an absolutely batshit insane supernatural horror movie that is having as much fun as any movie I’ve ever seen. It really feels like it’s trying harder to be fun than to be scary or even dramatic, and that rubs off on the viewer. Sam Raimi seems to have found the perfect level of over-the-top to remain absurd while still keeping you invested in the story at hand. A few steps further into the absurd and it might have lost me. It never did cross that line.
EARWIG AND THE WITCH (2020)
Okay, I genuinely feel like there’s at least an hour’s worth of story missing from this movie. I have no idea what it’s about. This manipulative little girl gets whatever she wants for her entire life, then gets adopted and learns how to manipulate these new people to get whatever she wants? Is that the whole thing? Am I missing something? What did I just watch?
MALCOLM & MARIE (2021)
This feels like a first draft finished in a handful of sittings, written through the night in a few of those glorious hours-long flow states, with nothing but the computer and a checklist of beats that needed to be hit to fill the runtime required to qualify as a feature film.
When I was around twenty, I took the same Playwriting class for two semesters in a row because I was allowed to write as many self-indulgent plays my heart desired for a full year and get two As out of it. This feels like one of those self-indulgent plays I wrote in one sitting, written through the night in one of those glorious hours-long flow states, with nothing but my computer and a checklist of beats that needed to be hit for my scribblings to qualify as a completed story.
BAD EDUCATION (2019)
A masterfully constructed narrative that starts us off with this perfect picture of a clean-cut man and the public school system he’s in charge of making the best in the area. We’re presented with this flawless facade, and slowly but surely, we begin to see some cracks. Those cracks become fissures, and soon, there’s nothing left of the perfect picture but rubble.
I do have one complaint: For a couple years, I worked at the movie theater that was always partially obstructed in the b-roll shots of Roslyn, and they kept pulling me out of the movie.
ANNIE HALL (1977)
It’s reasonable for people to find Woody Allen to be insufferable in this movie, but I loved every second of his performance — neuroses, frantic energy, and all. It’s reasonable for people to find his writing to be overly self-indulgent in this, but I loved every second of it — few movies make me laugh out loud like this one does.
INTO THE WOODS (2014)
You really wouldn’t think this is as boring as it is. I was fighting back urges to grab my phone every twenty seconds or so. There’s some seriously high production value at play here: The sets, the costumes, all of it is top notch. The cinematography, too, is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Visually, this movie is quite appealing. The actors are doing a good job — especially, unsurprisingly, Meryl Streep. This film has a lot going for it, but there might just be too much going on all at once, and I didn’t really care about any of it.
NOMADLAND (2020)
One of the most human movies I’ve ever seen. It’s about what it means to live a life, to form human connections, while simultaneously being completely disconnected from what we’ve been programmed since birth to expect from our time here on earth.
There’s deep-rooted anxiety flowing through this film — it’s palpable in the silent moments of contemplation, when there’s nothing on screen to steal our attention away from Fern, who has nothing around her to tear her attention off of the thoughts that are flowing through her mind in the stillness. It’s this anxiety that makes the moments of true release all the more cathartic: Be it the swallows soaring overhead, or the waves crashing against the cliffs.
JUDAS AND THE BLACK MESSIAH (2021)
Daniel Kaluuya and Lakeith Stanfield carried this somewhat meandering movie about a fascinating true story on their formidable shoulders. Between these generational talents and the subject matter, one would think this film would be more gripping than it ended up being. Hampton’s speeches made for several high points scattered throughout the runtime.
THE WORLD’S A LITTLE BLURRY (2021)
The first half-hour of this is loaded with footage of two artists making an album that I absolutely adore. It’s a cliché too say that a documentary feels like you’re in the room with the subjects, but there’s no other way to describe this one — you’re literally placed in their home (in their bedrooms) as they made what would become a monumental, earth-shattering record. You watch as the songs get put together, but you also watch Billie and Finneas talk things through and argue amid their process of creating art.
The two hours that follow are pretty great too, considering a huge fan of the subject(s). This documentary is nothing short of an absolute gift to any fan of theirs. The access provided into their life and career is astonishing. In 140 minutes, we see the making of this generation’s megastar. What a treat it is to watch it all unfold with this level of intimacy.
I feel Billie’s hatred for writing in the depths of my soul.
WANDAVISION (2021)
Miss Maximoff is trying her hardest to construct and maintain a perfect world for herself and the love of her life, away from all of the pain and suffering she’s faced with in the real world. Episode by episode, the cracks in her psyche begin to show and reality begins to leak in, much to her chagrin. Tensions and intrigue are constantly escalating and compounding. New information, clues and hints are consistently being given, keeping a series with a mystery at its core from getting anywhere near frustrating.
There is a version of this show, given all of the information we’d been provided throughout, that ends in catastrophic heartbreak, which would have opened countless exciting doors to where the MCU could head from here. Marvel and Disney did not choose to go this route, leaving the image of what is coming up ahead, as well as what’s been left behind, a little blurry.
FEVER PITCH (2005)
As a Chargers fan, I take great offense at this movie calling Red Sox fans “God’s most pathetic creatures”. Red Sox fans, post-2004, don’t know pain. Pain is all I’ve known since I was thirteen years old.
I think it’s kind of brilliant to set a rom-com involving an obsessed Red Sox fan during this specific season — the decades of heartbreak finally coming to an end certainly adds to the romance of it all.
MAN OF STEEL (2013)
The prologue in Krypton was an entertaining short film with some real emotional resonance and palpable stakes.
Then, twenty minutes in, the main story starts, and then stops, and then starts up again somewhere else, and then goes backwards, and then restarts, then pauses to explain something with a series of uninteresting monologues, or show something with a hollow montage. We continue to be jerked back and forth thusly, obliterating any semblance of momentum at every turn, all the way to a climactic fight sequence that just felt like the protagonist trying to placate a petulant antagonist who was lashing out after he had already failed his mission. The two hours that follow the prologue fail to tell a cohesive story, let alone unearth any emotional resonance or deliver palpable stakes.
Superman was 100% right in killing Zod. I don’t want to hear anybody’s bullshit about it.
BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE (2016)
Seeing Bruce Wayne’s perspective from the streets of Metropolis as the finale of Man of Steel is playing out around him really helped give gravity to what was happening in that film — albeit three years later, in a movie that wasn’t the one that really could have used that perspective to begin with.
Along those lines, the first third of the three-hour extended cut raises questions about the place these superheroes have in this world. We see the damage they cause through the eyes of regular men and women that are affected by the actions of Superman, directly or indirectly — and this includes Batman, whose very existence is brought into question. The film takes its time, allowing us to hear from those affected. By the time we’re introduced to Lex Luthor and find that he means to import Kryptonite into the United States, we’re actually inclined to agree with him when he insists that regular folk should weaponize it, to protect themselves from these Gods among men, lest they be rendered helpless against their every whim. The beginning of this movie effectively poses questions we rarely (if ever) contemplate while watching a superhero movie — all while keeping us on the ground, metaphorically and physically, allowing us to ponder our options from the perspectives we would have if we were living in this world occupied by self-appointed powerful vigilantes.
Just past the hour mark, we take a bizarre jump into Batman’s apocalyptic nightmare, and everything pretty much goes downhill from there. The movie with the deep philosophical questions and dramatic weight is left in the dust, and a generic, shallow, below-average blockbuster begins. The movie was far more interesting when the heroes were wearing suits like mine or yours, as opposed to the capes and latex.
The fight between Batman and Superman is admittedly fairly entertaining. On paper, Superman should wipe the floor with the Caped Crusader, but that’s what makes Batman so great: He always finds a way to even the odds. And in this case, he had Superman dead to rights, literally under his boot, when the most ridiculous exchange in the history of superhero movies saves Clark J. Kent from certain defeat.
There isn’t much to say about the final battle against the cookie-cutter mindless monster, Doomsday. It’s a giant mess of computer-generated imagery. These movies always get so damn ugly when the setting in which they’re fighting ceases to look even remotely like a planet inhabited by living, breathing human beings.
As a lifelong fan of the Batman, I must say that this incarnation feels really freakin’ good. I will forever long for a stand-alone movie with this version of the character — we simply didn’t get enough of Ben Affleck’s Batman. That short scene in the warehouse is a taste of everything I’ve ever wanted to see out of the Dark Knight in action. It felt like he was transported from one of the beloved video games and onto the big screen.
I’ll end on this: I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE the decision to raise the dirt from Superman’s casket at the end. We literally spend the last fifteen minutes of this movie mourning the death of one of the titular characters. Why waste our time if you’re just going to pull that stunt a millisecond before we cut to black?
SUICIDE SQUAD (2016)
I’ll never forget my bewildered disappointment while walking out the cinema after seeing this on opening night. This holds the truly unfortunate distinction of being the worst film I’ve ever seen in a theater. Actually, film feels like a strong, inaccurate word to describe this. What we have here is a two-hour movie trailer with a spectacular soundtrack.
There are a few fleeting moments of cool imagery, like when Deadshot shoots a hole straight through the head of the metal target, or when the Enchantress’ hand slides into June’s hand before she transforms — but flashes of cool imagery does not a good movie make.
The only real joy in watching this is seeing Margot Robbie do her thing as Harley Quinn. Casting her for that role was a stroke of genius in a movie filled with questionable decisions.
WONDER WOMAN (2017)
When the needle drops on Wonder Woman’s theme after she smashes through that window, I get the overwhelming urge to get up and smash through my second-floor bedroom window. It doesn’t come until 77 minutes into the movie, and it doesn’t come when most would expect it to come (in No Man’s Land). Instead, it’s purposefully held back for a few more minutes, and that pays off in spades. For my money, it’s up there with the needle drop for the Avenger’s theme in Endgame.
The setting plays a large part in my enjoyment of this movie: The time period, the wardrobe, the primordial military technology, the bombarded buildings, the war (to end all wars) — the thematic significance of it all.
This movie glides with an elegant swiftness and ease. The action scenes are uniquely pleasurable to watch — they’re creatively choreographed, with captivating uses of slow-motion and some truly frameable shots amid all of the punching, shooting, and lasso throwing. And when nobody is fighting, this movie is actually pretty funny, and watching Diana navigate this brand new world alongside Steve Trevor is really quite compelling.
The first two hours of this are legitimately great. Then, it abruptly, jarringly turns into just another DCEU movie, right on time for the obnoxiously familiar garbage final battle sequence — surrounded on all sides by CGI which no longer looks like a place on the planet the fight started on. With every minute, things get worse, until finally the movie ends in cringe-worthy calamity. Such a shame. But man, we’ll always have those first two hours.
AQUAMAN (2018)
I can best describe this movie with two words: Visually ambitious. When CGI is used in heavy doses in the rest of the DCEU, it either looks bland or downright hideous. When it’s used in heavy doses in this movie (which is very often), it’s beautiful. The creatures are marvelous. The colors are vibrant. The world that James Wan and his team have built is remarkable. The camera work is fluid, seamlessly slicing through the air during fight scenes. We get close-ups from peculiar angles. We get wide shots that look like biblical paintings. This movie really is a feast for the eyes.
The minutes spent outside of the dazzling set pieces are significantly less enjoyable. The dialogue in the vast majority of this script is brutal. The jokes land an excruciatingly low percent of the time, exacerbated by the sheer number of jokes that were uttered. And there’s so much damn exposition — I feel like half the movie is spent explaining something to somebody. Tonally, this film is bizarre. One second, Arthur is near death, and the next, he’s spouting childish quips. One second, he’s eating roses with Mera, and the next, we’re preparing for a civil war.
It is par for the course for the final act of a movie in the DCEU to go to shit. It brings me great pleasure to say that this is not the case here. In fact, the final act of this movie might be when it’s at its best.
ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE (2021)
Is this better than the Justice League we got in 2017? Yes, it absolutely is. But a shorter version of this, with no studio meddling, seen through to the end by Zack Snyder would have been much better than the original too.
I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around why we got a four-hour version of this movie. Plenty could (and should) have been cut. A lot of unseen footage helped flesh out the characters and give the film some much needed heart and soul — but there’s also a lot of fluff. Did we get all of the footage Snyder shot, edited into chapters? Is that what fans have been begging for? Wouldn’t it have been better if we just got a three-hour version?
I’m honestly not sure how to feel about any of this. Was it better? Yes. Did I have a blast for four hours straight? Absolutely not. Is this the best movie in the DCEU (because it better be, after all these years of hype)? Nope, it is not.
I found myself growing frustrated while watching, thinking about all of the shit that happened behind the scenes to turn the movie I was viewing in my bed into the movie I saw in theaters four years ago. It’s truly tragic. And with all of the loose ends that appear in Snyder’s Cut, it’s mildly depressing to think of all that could have been if the original vision wasn’t butchered, tossed out into the public, and left for dead. We may never see where any of these strings lead now.
GODZILLA VS. KONG (2021)
A good job was done making us empathize with Kong early on, especially through his relationship with Jia (Kaylee Hotle stands out like the sun among this star-studded cast). He was the most interesting character in the whole movie, and she was arguably the only interesting human.
The dialogue uttered by the trio of Brown, Henry, and Dennison is really quite rough — that’s not to say the dialogue in the rest of the movie is spectacular or anything, because it most certainly is not.
I loved the sound design throughout, but my favorite part was when Kong and Godzilla started to fight in China — the score cuts out, and we hear nothing but the sounds of their battle for almost two minutes straight.
GODZILLA (2014)
I think the reason I like this movie as much as I do can be summed up by one word: Perspective. We’re not in the sky with monsters, like most blockbuster action movies. We’re on the ground with humans. And it’s with those humans that we experience what it’s like for gargantuan monsters to tear through our populated cities. We don’t just see their presence — we feel their presence. We feel the damage that they cause. We feel the helplessness of being so small, powerless against something so incomprehensible big.
We experience Godzilla and the Mutos as if they were a natural disaster, or a terrorist attack. This movie isn’t about Godzilla, despite its title. This movie is about the humans that Godzilla is busy trying to save in the background of all the chaos. It’s about how humans survive in the face of adversity — even if they need a little help sometimes, and even if the problems they face are consequences of their own doing.
A RAINY DAY IN NEW YORK (2019)
If I didn’t know Woody Allen made this movie, I’d think it might have been a student film which had the budget for top onscreen talent.
It feels like the actors were being drowned by an overbearing, unfocused script and, instead of helping, the direction, cinematography, and editing were watching and waving as they were being submerged. It was all very bizarre, coming from such a prolific filmmaker.
THE NEW MUTANTS (2020)
I expected to hate his movie. Don’t get me wrong: As a feature film, it’s quite rough. But the characters are really interesting — more than compelling enough to keep me engaged throughout. They’re teenagers with real psychological trauma. They fight their trauma, they fight each other, they fight their adolescence — they act like teenagers, they talk like teenagers, they treat each other like teenagers do. The potential for the complexities that these characters tease us with keep this film from being the train wreck it probably should have been.
Now, the key word there is potential. The possibility of seeing these kids deal with their trauma was enough to carry the film well through the first half, and maybe even up to the third act. By the time the credits are rolling, however, it becomes overwhelmingly clear that the filmmakers didn’t seem to know what to do with the material — how to best handle the most important elements.
This feels like the first draft of the script, culminating in the most boring final act possible, which completely neglects what made the movie interesting in the first place. It feels like the first episode of a limited series, only resolving a small chunk of everything that was teased throughout.
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON (2010)
Toothless has instantly found himself very high on my list of favorite cinematic animals — and I’ve seen A LOT of Disney movies. He must be protected at all costs. I’m going to be watching the sequels very soon to make sure that he is!
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 (2014)
I’m not going to lie, Operation PTAAC (Protect Toothless At All Costs) was faced with some significant hiccups in this sequel: He almost drowned; he got his butt sniffed by strangers; he was brainwashed into committing cold-blooded murder; he was kidnapped and abused by his new owner; he was frozen solid by the alpha dragon, and he led an army of dragons in a battle against this alpha.
After all of that, Toothless is alive and well — he is happy and healthy. That was a big hurdle, but we jumped it. Although we are only 67% through, Operation PTAAC is looking promising.
THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER (2021)
It never got its talons in me. It flew around my head, reached out and swiped at my body a few times, but it never successfully hooked me. The action scenes were pretty middling for me — besides one or two, they were boring. The characters’ motivations were often lost on me — including Karli’s a lot of the time. I appreciate that the writers were going for characters that felt morally murky, especially in who they see as the antagonist in their separate stories, but it all ended up being far too black and white to hold any real weight. I respect the political statements that were being made here, from all sides, but it all grew to feel way too heavy-handed for my liking.
At around 240 minutes, this show did nothing more than hold my attention until the final credits — it never wow’d me, it never made me excited, but yet, I tuned in and watched every second of it without ever considering clicking away.
MORTAL KOMBAT (2021)
Unsurprisingly, the best parts of this movie were the fatalities — the fire dragon and the buzzsaw sombrero being the best of the bunch. The fight sequences on the whole were highlighted by the compelling visuals associated with each fighter’s superhuman abilities — Sub-Zero’s creative manipulation of ice being the coolest looking.
For a script with dialogue this abysmally atrocious, I must say it did a good job at creating sympathetic motivations for our protagonists. They feel earned, whether they were introduced in the beginning or in the early parts of the third act. This gives all of the individual fights the weight of personal stakes, and makes the fatalities that end them all the more satisfying.
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: THE HIDDEN WORLD (2019)
Operation PTAAC was enacted after I fell in love with Toothless in the first movie. In this finale, I watched him fall in love, and that opened my eyes to how much he’s grown up — and that made me love him more. Toothless fell head over heels for that Light Fury. Love made him clumsy. It made him reckless. But it made him whole. Love got him into trouble, and then it saved his life.
In this movie, we watch Toothless go off into the world to make a life for himself, with his lover by his side. Our little guy has left the nest, and it pained me to watch him leave. But it brought me immense joy to see where he landed.
The credits are rolling, this trilogy is over — it is with great pleasure that I get to declare Operation Protect Toothless At All Costs an indisputable success.
THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES (2021)
This was funny and inventive and engaging and moving and charming and poignant and plenty interesting enough to hold my attention for the length of a feature film — and then the movie bursts into its second act, dramatically switches lanes, and continues to be all of those things I just mentioned and, somehow, even more.
It was self-aware and referential. The animation was always a treat to look at and often was awe-inspiring. I was consistently pleasantly surprised by the creative decisions made throughout. This is a wonderful film and everybody with a family should watch it.
OVER THE MOON (2020)
There are some serious, glaring, fundamental storytelling problems on display here. This feels mind-bogglingly disjointed — and often bewilderingly chaotic. There is so much going on that I found it nearly impossible to understand how most of it had any thematic relevance to the rest of the story. When the focus is on the emotional themes, there’s a whole lot of telling and not enough showing — therefore, nothing feels earned by the end. As my example, I present to you the finale: The entire story is resolved when Chang’e abruptly flips from her depressive mind-state and sings a song about love and loss to Fei Fei, causing the young girl to just suddenly understand that she has to accept that her widower father is going to marry a new woman.
Speaking of which, I had an extremely hard time buying into the “he doesn’t remember you” narrative that drove Fei Fei’s motivations here in the first place — I literally went back and rewatched the beginning to make sure I wasn’t missing something. The shaky motivations are a big reason why this film had to resort to telling us what we should be feeling, as opposed to making us feel it. For a movie about a girl who loses her mother at a young age and struggles to move on, I felt nothing — that is an enormous problem.
WATCHMEN (2009)
So, I hear this is a reverent, faithful (if overly so) adaptation of the graphic novel. I’m sure that’s cool for people who love the comic. I, however, have never read said comic, and therefore, saw this movie as nothing more than what it was. Boy, did it bore the hell out of me.
There were too many characters to care about any of them, too many timelines to follow any of them, too many story arcs to be wholly absorbed by any of them. There was just too much. I was overwhelmed into apathy less than an hour in. By the halfway mark (eighty minutes in), I was ready to turn it off.
THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW (2021)
It sure does feel like the author of the bestselling novel this movie was adapted from watched Rear Window one day, found it to be far too tame, and decided to write his own version with whiplash-inducing twists and turns which constantly keep you on your toes, guessing where the story might go and who in this narrative you could trust.
I own this film’s source material — the book has been sitting on my shelf for months. I’m not sure I’ll ever get around to reading it, having now seen this movie — and I might even be kind of glad that I never did.
AUTOMATED CUSTOMER SERVICE (2021)
We’ve seen the dark, grim version of this story too many times. I’m glad they went the comedic route.
ICE (2021)
I have no idea what the point of this was if not to encourage doing drugs and partaking in life-threatening activities.
POP SQUAD (2021)
I loved everything about this. The animation was stunning. The setting was compelling — both the world and the people that inhabit it. The protagonist was a fascinating one to follow. His obligation is to do the unthinkable, over and over, and suffer the consequences that go along with committing the act, or suffer those that come with refusing to.
SNOW IN THE DESERT (2021)
Technology is really starting to reach insane levels with how realistic it can make worlds and characters look. I’m not sure this story is breaking any new ground though — it certainly isn’t at the caliber of the animation.
300 (2006)
After nearly 15 years of hearing “THIS. IS. SPARTA.” in pop culture, it was still quite satisfying when I finally saw it in context. Zack Snyder’s obsession with the fit human (mostly male) body is on full display here. His slow motion and green-screen obsessions were too — they were actually tolerable in this, because it fit the over-the-top nature of the story and the action taking place.
THE TALL GRASS (2021)
Man steps away from the train he was asked politely to stay within, but he must feed his cigarette addiction so he insists upon remaining outside, and shortly, almost gets eaten alive by aliens. Don’t smoke cigarettes, kids — they’ll get you killed.
ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE (2021)
For all we know, that’s what Santa Claus looks like. It’s just as likely as him being a fat old man with a white beard.
LIFE HUTCH (2021)
It’s the year 2021, so I can no longer tell the difference between a CGI Michael B. Jordan and the living, breathing human being.
THE DROWNED GIANT (2021)
This was an unexpectedly fascinating snapshot of humanity — an enormous human corpse acting as the catalyst.
ARMY OF THE DEAD (2021)
Most of these characters don’t feel like human beings, only blurbs of dialogue. A couple of them even feel like they’re in the wrong movie. Damn near zero percent of the comedy landed for me. If anything it did nothing but muddy the tone of the whole film. A few “character moments” attempted here fall so flat that I was either confused or cringing during them.
Most of the motivations feeble at best — traversing into what is described as the Zombies’ Kingdom for a hefty chunk of change just doesn’t feel adequate to me. Unless you’re dreadfully desperate for money, or at the end of your rope in life — which wasn’t explicitly stated about most (if any) of the characters involved. A suicide mission seems like a poor investment. Honestly, the character with the strongest motivations in the movie is the Zombie King.
All that said, the film is paced fairly well. Two and a half hours is a long time, and I didn’t feel it dragging at more than a point or two. It held my attention just fine.
A QUIET PLACE (2018)
The first ten minutes of this film set up the world’s rules and the consequences involved with breaking those rules so effectively that my skin is covered in goosebumps before we’re ever presented with the title screen. It’s a masterclass in concocting stakes and initiating an excruciating level of tension which doesn’t cease until we mercifully cut to black with the click-clack of a shotgun.
A QUIET PLACE, PART 2 (2020)
We give up the claustrophobia of dimly-lit close quarters for the eerieness of the vast and unfamiliar. We give up the piercing anxiety over making the slightest sound for the stomach-clenching dread over the uncertainty which presents itself as new places, new faces, and new problems that arise.
These problems don’t begin and end with the creatures that hunted this family in Part 1. They come from so many directions that those alien threats often take a backseat when the film’s tension is reaching its peaks.
This sequel expands the world while still staying connected to the hearts of these characters. Parallel storylines are impressively woven together, giving different individuals their moments to shine, one at a time, while making a point to show that they’re all still in this together, fighting a single battle for survival. Major character moments are paid off in this based on elements set up in the first movie. Traits introduced within these people are built on and used again as a source of conflict and growth.
This feels like the logical next step for this story and these characters to take. In hindsight, Part 1 strikes me as a unique standalone movie, while this feels like an early episode of a cool new show that’s destined to win the hearts of millions.
CRUELLA (2021)
I really think the single element that most drags this movie down is the fact that the main character is Cruella de Vil, the famous Disney villain.
Allow me to explain: If you take this film as it is today, change the protagonist’s nickname and look, remove the winks and nods to the prior versions of the character, and keep almost everything else the same, I think you’d have a really solid flick on your hands (if a long one). This movie is at its best when it is free to fly without the shackles of its source material holding it back. So much was already altered or manufactured for this film, therefore it’s quite easy to envision a version where none of the source material existed at all.
BO BURNHAM: INSIDE (2021)
Can’t help but feel like I just witnessed something truly transcendent. This special does not miss. It’s just honest, chaotic creativity — a look into the mind of this brilliant artist while under quarantine.
IN THE HEIGHTS (2021)
Allow this film to welcome you back into the cinema after this pandemic — do yourself that favor.
It’s a melodic celebration of life and love and humanity, seen from the eyes of a group of people that live humbly, dream of more, but adore and appreciate what they have. After these past fifteen months, we deserve a movie this exuberant — we deserve a movie this alive.
THE CONJURING: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (2021)
Julian Hilliard is one of like three kids in Hollywood that gets cast in horror movies — this film is the newest addition to the Julian Hilliard/Lulu Wilson/Mckenna Grace cinematic universe.
I genuinely could not care less about the characters or events taking place in this film. How long can studios make the same movie over and over again before audiences get sick and tired of it? I can’t distinguish this film as something separate from the dozens of other horror flicks Hollywood has churned out over the past decade.
RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON (2021)
Are you kidding me with this animation, the lighting, the shot composition, the colors — goodness gracious, this movie is so damn pretty.
I’ve been sitting around, pondering the meaning of this, trying to really get my head around the themes at play here. I can now say, with some confidence, that this film is about trust.
LUCA (2021)
This is just so charming. The comedy lands at an exceptional rate. The characters are so easy to root for. The protagonist is a fish monster, but his troubles are oh so human. He learns about the pleasures of making friends. He opens his eyes to a world adjacent to the only one he’s ever known. This was a delightful little film from a behemoth movie studio.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
This 143-minute motion picture could have really done with more Captain Jack Sparrow — not kidding in the slightest.
The characters, including Sparrow, have satisfying single-film arcs and solid motivations in this blockbuster based on a Disney ride. As a matter of fact, the villains are on that list as well, which makes the conflicts surrounding the goals of everyone involved all the more interesting.
Also, dear god, that score slaps.
THE PINK PANTHER (2006)
The quotes I pulled from this movie when I was younger have been seared in my memory. I’ve been saying “good one” in a French accent for 15 years, and honestly, I probably frequently forget where I even picked the line up from. Steve Martin’s performance is iconic, which elevates the words in the script he co-wrote to levels a lesser artist could never have (see: I would like to buy a hamburger).
THE STRANGERS (2008)
The central conflict that we open on is the best part of this movie. It thrives in the silent moments, but occasionally dips when the actors are uttering dialogue. Once the scares start, the film is mostly just really boring — thankfully, it doesn’t drag its simple premise out for long though.
By the end, I was left with one ringing thought: What the fuck was the point of this?
ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD (2019)
I did not expect this to end up being my favorite Tarantino movie. I did not expect this to end up being one of my go-to comfort movies. I didn’t expect to watch this movie six times since it premiered in theaters. I didn’t expect any of this, but here we are, still coming back for more, still enjoying every minute of it.
BLACK WIDOW (2021)
I have a very unique set of mixed feelings about this movie. It thrives in the quiet moments with Natasha, and breathes life into the character of Black Widow, which had been sorely lacking all throughout the MCU’s Infinity Saga. The best parts of this movie frustrate me the most, because we should have gotten this story in line with where it exists on the MCU’s timeline (between Civil War and Infinity War). The character of Black Widow needed this movie to inject some life into her before she met her ultimate demise in Endgame.
The whole plot surrounding those quiet character moments felt as though we were just being tossed around as the audience, passively taking it in as the film twisted and turned. The choreography for the hand-to-hand combat stood out as exceptional, and the casting was top-notch. Florence Pugh as Yelena is the first thing that’s actually made me excited about the MCU post-Endgame.
STAR TREK (2009)
It should be noted that I knew absolutely nothing about the Star Trek universe going into this. Like, I knew there was a character named Kirk and another one named Spock, but that’s really about it.
Quite an effective opening scene, I must say — can’t really not be on board after all that. Then, we’re introduced to the main characters, and honestly, those scenes were equally effective, engaging, and exciting. All of this within the first half hour.
Lasers are shot, planets are eviscerated, punches are thrown, spaceships are sent into hyperspeed, but what keeps this film compelling is this set of characters — each with glaring flaws, but good hearts — and their relationships with each other.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST (2006)
All of the characters are flawed this time around, and not in the good way. Rather, in the way that makes them uninteresting. Sure, they have goals and motivations for their actions, broadly speaking, but there’s no heart in this like there was in the first movie (Well, there’s one heart in this, but that’s not what I’m— Never mind).
We’re missing arcs built from the unique traits that make these characters who they are — arcs that are specifically built around the story being told here. The villains and Knightley’s Elizabeth have the biggest drop-off from film to film.
At least the score still slaps. And the VFX are much better, three years after the original (an extra eighty-five million dollars in the budget sure helps too).
FEAR STREET 1994 (2021)
Do you enjoy watching trashy horror movies? Are cringy Young Adult films some of your guilty pleasures? Boy do I have a movie recommendation for you!
We’ve got the screams. We’ve got the blood. We’ve got the romance. The characters are in genuine danger. There isn’t a parent in sight. The film moves at a million miles per hour, never slowing for a second. We’ve got make-out sessions while the murderers are on their way. We’ve got bullshit explanations for the supernatural events taking place. We’ve got it all here on Fear Street.
Turn your brain all the way off and have a really good time.
SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY (2021)
This is some truly abysmal stuff. Everything within the script was a trainwreck: the dialogue had me squirming in my seat, and the rules of the story were being made up on the fly like the rules of the game the characters were playing. It doesn’t help that the acting is quite (perhaps predictably) atrocious.
This entire movie is basically just one giant commercial for Warner Bros, and it never even makes an effort to be subtle about it. In fact, worse still, it acts like this corporate self-fondling is a part of its appeal.
FEAR STREET 1978 (2021)
Somehow, someway, this movie moves faster than the first one, which already felt like it moved at a breakneck pace. The characters felt fuller in this, mostly because of the depth in the relationships they share.
The setting was simpler, and the main antagonist was simpler. These are two of several reasons why this sequel made more sense than the original. But I can’t help but feel like we lost some of the fun that came from the chaos of the first film.
FEAR STREET 1666 (2021)
The final part of this trilogy stands out as being the only one that doesn’t feel like a movie on its own. This feels like the final episode of a series. A part of me wants to shrug this criticism off and just go ahead and call this a six-hour limited series, but a louder part of me says that the criticism is still valid because the first two parts felt like…well, movies.
Part 3 is very busy playing with the weight of the first two movies, not doing enough work to create a fully fleshed-out story for itself. In fact, while it’s called 1666, we only spend an hour in that year, and the characters are far flatter than the ones in 1994 or 1978 — that includes the protagonist, who was none other than the infamous Sarah Fier. Sheriff Goode is the character who most benefited from the existence of this timeline, by way of his ancestor’s presence in 1666. That first hour we spent there/then felt like a passable prequel to a pair of films I deeply enjoyed.
All of that being said (!), as the finale to a limited series, this last film did its job at satisfyingly bringing the overarching story to a close. Through twists and turns, we learn that this series, all along, was actually an interesting take on the “selling your soul to the devil” trope. We see what one person’s selfish desire for fortune has done to countless innocent residents of Shadyside, and the dozens of people who were murdered as a direct consequence of this deal.
In conclusion, Fear Street is a delightful limited series, from start to finish. Fear Street 1666 is a mediocre movie.
SPACE JAM (1996)
I will try my best not to swipe at the low-hanging fruit provided by the recent release of the number one movie at the box office this weekend.
I loved every second that the Aliens from Moron Mountain were onscreen, especially as the little guys. Bill Murray was fun. Wayne Knight was iconic. Jordan was fine. The Looney Tunes were each given their time to shine. The other real-life NBA players were utilized well within the story. The jokes, one-liners, and gags had a remarkably high batting average.
I don’t see how any young kid, no matter which millennium they were born in, would enjoy this movie less than its successor. Okay, I lied — I had to take at least one swipe.
OLD (2021)
If anybody not named M. Night presented this script to a studio, they’d probably be put on a list — a black one, perhaps. At this point, Shyamalan is just testing everyone to see what he can get away with.
SIGNS (2002)
“There’s a monster outside my room. Can I have a glass of water?” There’s foreshadowing and then there’s this — Shyamalan was having a laugh here. I wonder how many takes Abigail Breslin had to do to get the spacing between her sentences just right. There wasn’t so much as a quick breath taken between them. In fact, it almost feels wrong to say they’re two separate sentences and not just a single long one with a comma.
I really like what this film has to say. It just takes so damn long to say it. It feels like there’s a really tight 60-70 minute movie here. But the runtime is padded with scenes that slow the pacing to a crawl and ends up being 107 minutes long.
THE GREEN KNIGHT (2021)
A verbatim review from a middle-aged man as he and his two teen kids exited the theater: “In the entire 51 years I’ve been on this earth, that was the worst movie I’ve ever seen.” I have spent enough time as an employee of arthouse cinemas to know that there is simply no better compliment a film can receive than that.
It is a blessing to have a master of the craft, David Lowery, at the helm of a movie that is neck-deep in elements of classic fantasy — from the expansive world, to the misty woods, to the talking animal companions, the spirits, the witches, the giants, and more. This is Fantasy, with a capital F, made by a Hollywood studio known for their appreciation of cinema, and not just for their bank accounts. This is cinematic fantasy treated as art for adults, not a blockbuster to get as many asses in seats as possible. It’s a feast for the eyes and ears, it takes you on a journey, and it leaves you pondering profound thoughts on the meaning of life with all of its suffering and the inevitability of death.
God, this review is pretentious as fuck. But you know what? That’s fine. This film has me incredibly excited for the prospect of seeing more fantasy stories get adapted for the silver screen with this level of care.
THE SUICIDE SQUAD (2021)
I find it really worth mentioning how remarkably unfunny this movie was. The jokes got maybe two or three laughs out of the audience I saw this with (on opening day, mind you), and the rest of the jokes fell excruciatingly flat. It’s truly bizarre how bad the attempts at comedy were in this film.
Anyway, this was the most fun I’ve had watching Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn to date (which isn’t exactly saying much, I know). This strengthened my stance on Idris Elba: I would be enthralled watching him perform a series of advertisements found in the Yellow Pages. I had never heard of Daniela Melchior (Ratcatcher 2) before this movie, but I can confidently say that she stole the show from all of the marquee names in this cast.
James Gunn did a good job letting each character have their moments, both emotional and physical. The latter was often glorious. The former sometimes felt a little ham-handed. But in the end, when all of those character moments come together, it’s pretty darn satisfying.
SCARY MOVIE (2000)
Applying real criticism to a movie like this feels like missing the point. Moment by moment, every choice appeared to be the most insane idea anybody in the room could think of. That kept me engaged. I don’t think there’s more to it than that.
SCARY MOVIE 2 (2001)
Coincidentally, I finished bingeing Schitt’s Creek just last night. Chris Elliott’s character in this was legendary to me when I was in my early-teens. Therefore, it took like three full seasons for me to see Elliott as Roland and not Hanson, the caretaker with the strong hand.
This sequel has not aged well at all.
SCARY MOVIE 3 (2003)
This was the most tame, least vulgar, least batshit insane of the first three movies. It may have also been the most cohesive film of the bunch, but maybe the most boring. In order to figure all of that out for sure, I’d have to think about it, and I am absolutely not going to strain any of my brain cells pondering the cinematic merits of these motion pictures.
THE LONG HALLOWEEN, PART 1 (2021)
This movie is 85 minutes long and doesn't even feels like the first half of whatever story is being told here. It isn’t until 50 minutes in that it finally feels like the snowball was beginning to roll. This took so much time to say so little that I can’t imagine how the second half of this could possibly be satisfying enough to justify making this a two-film story.
THE LONG HALLOWEEN, PART 2 (2021)
I’m mad I paid for two six-dollar rentals to see what was essentially one movie. Condense everything you need from the first one into 30-45 minutes, add it to this one, and you’ll have one 2-hour-ish animated feature that feels like a full story.
Scarecrow is my favorite Batman villain and he had a cool sequence showing off why he’s my favorite Batman villain — so I enjoyed that. The reasons for the presence of the others from Batman’s rogues gallery was mostly a mystery to me. This story isn’t about them — like, at all. I couldn’t get my head around a lot of the motivations for the characters in this. I couldn’t get my head around the stakes. I just didn’t really care about anything that was going on.
JUNGLE CRUISE (2021)
Is it any good? “It’s fine,” I say, shaking my head, sounding mildly annoyed, maybe a little angry. This movie is aggressively mid.
FREE GUY (2021)
The first half of this movie was so damn fun that I was actually shocked by how much fun I was having. I was loving the characters, the world, the story, everything.
Then, we arrive at a very clear midpoint. And the rest of the movie felt like a plot point simulator, where random conflicts and challenges are tossed at the characters, with no prior set-up for any of them — all of this explained away by having the coders at the game studio create the conflicts on the fly with the goal of stopping the protagonists. This does not make for a good story. To the viewer, there’s actually no difference between the writers pulling shit out of their ass to create conflict and the coders in the movie pulling shit out of their ass to create conflict.
Also, I didn’t realize this was a Disney movie until Disney went full Space Jam: A New Legacy with the levels of corporate self-fondling in the final act. Studios, please, never go full Space Jam: A New Legacy.
DON’T BREATHE 2 (2021)
This was a misfire on so many levels that it’s almost incomprehensible that this movie was even made with the script in this state. I say almost incomprehensible because the first movie made its budget back sixteen-fold.
THE WHITE LOTUS (2021)
With a description like, “Set in a tropical resort, it follows the exploits of various guests and employees over the span of a week,” infinity is the number of directions this show could have gone — and the vast majority of those routes would have been boring.
This limited series is proof that any story can be gripping with captivating characters. The conflicts that they’re faced with could easily be categorized as mundane for the standards set by HBO. But the people going through those conflicts are compelling, entertaining, and so fucking infuriating. They say flawed characters are interesting characters — well, this band of individuals are about as flawed as it gets, and I simply couldn’t take my eyes off of them as I was perpetually shaking my head.
THE HIGH NOTE (2020)
The first third of this movie is all A-story. Then, the B-story gets a large chunk of time, and quickly becomes the main story — and by that point, cutting back to the A-story becomes a minor bummer. Then, the A-story and the B-story start on a collision course, and that felt pretty rocky, but then they finally collided in a way that was surprising, perhaps a bit jarring, but also kind of satisfying. From there, the film races to a close as if desperate to reach the end credits before we could come down from the high of that climax.
THE WITCHER: NIGHTMARE OF THE WOLF (2021)
A perfectly timed prequel — a prologue of sorts — to the Witcher universe, which will see its second season arrive on Netflix in a few months. This tells a compelling enough story about the Witcher who would go on to become a mentor and father-figure to Geralt of Rivia.
We’re presented with a whole host of elements that are important to this universe. We meet mages, see them in action, and learn about the bestiary. We encounter monsters of varying shapes and sizes, and we see how magic and potions and oils are used to fight them. We watch Witchers get created, and we see where they stand in the society of those days. We see where their morals stand and their philosophies on what it is they do for others.
This is an informative and entertaining introduction to the world of the Witcher. I understand why it wasn’t made before the series, but since it’s out now, I’d recommend people watch this before jumping into the live-action show.
CANDYMAN (2021)
This film took its sweet time and I was fully bought in from the jump, seduced by the compelling imagery and the eerie tone. I empathized with the struggling artist who was desperate to find meaning in his work, felt his frustration when he wasn’t being understood, and his dread when his mind and his world started to show signs of cracking.
But then the third act came around, and the deliberate pacing that had been holding our hands through the story suddenly led us astray, off the path it had been paving for us. I’m not sure what happened from there. A lot happened, but I’m not sure what any of it meant or how exactly it connected to everything I saw up to that point. It ended with a bang, to be sure. But I was left feeling like I never got the ending the first two-thirds of this movie were heading toward.
HAPPIER THAN EVER: A LOVE LETTER (2021)
Yeah, this is cool as fuck.
It’s a filmed live concert to no audience where Billie performs her best album from front to back with the help of her brother and the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Scattered throughout are little trips around the City of Angels, escorted by an animated version of the nineteen-year-old superstar.
The instrumental eruption halfway through Happier Than Ever literally brought tears to my eyes — I wish I was kidding.
HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE (2001)
Not knowing what my weekend had in store for me, I watched an hour-long documentary on the making of this film the other day. What a treat it is to get to watch it at the cinema, on the big screen, in celebration of its twentieth anniversary.
Fun fact: The first scene shot for the entire series was the last scene of the first movie. The production wrapped after 169 days of filming.
SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS (2021)
I was having the most fun when the fact that this is a Marvel movie was slipping from my mind. I was having the least fun when I was being reminded that this is a Marvel movie. Many of this film’s strengths lie in what separates it from the rest of the MCU, and a lot of its flaws are present in much of the MCU — notably the myriad origin stories. Near the end, when there were magical creatures from ancient tales flying through the sky and armies battling with weapons drenched in lore and culture, I found myself wishing that this wasn’t an MCU movie and was instead the launching pad for a totally unique (but still based on a Marvel comic) fantasy franchise of its own.
I don’t think I’ve enjoyed the use of slow motion in a Marvel movie as much as I enjoyed its deployment in this — never more so than when the ten rings were involved. I loved every way the eponymous rings were used, and was left wanting more in the end. It is especially valid to use the oft-uttered compliment “the choreography for the fight scenes felt like dance sequences” here because one of the fight sequences was actually a dance sequence — surely, the filmmakers knew what they were doing, and they were doing a very good job.
NIGHTBOOKS (2021)
I need an evil Krysten Ritter to show up in my room every day and threaten my life until I get some writing done. This may be the change to my routine that I’ve been looking for — the cure for my crippling procrastination.
But then again, a notes session with her would be enough to make me think that letting her kill me would be for the best.
THE DEAD ZONE (1983)
A lot was changed from the book — I mean A LOT — but the choices that were made here worked to condense the story to under two hours while still mostly maintaining its spine.
If I’d have read the novel or (albeit, less so) seen this adaptation in September of 2016 instead of 2021, I might have been unshakably convinced that I was living in a simulation.
MALIGNANT (2021)
Say what you want about the story being told here, but it’s rare to find a movie that can be entirely buoyed by its visual appeal. Most of the time, I had no idea what in the name of God was going on, but my eyes were having so much fun that I frankly couldn’t care less. James Wan and DP Michael Burgess must’ve been having the time of their lives with this one, and that rubbed off on me as the viewer. To say this was visually compelling isn’t doing it justice — this film was visually captivating.
That being said, the story did this movie absolutely no favors.
THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE (2021)
Jessica Chastain!
Okay, moving on to everything else… It’s difficult to sympathize with people like this, but the film tries its damndest to make you sympathize with Tammy Faye — and honestly, more than a few times, I found myself thinking, “oh, she’s not all that bad.” She wasn’t quite the fraudulent grifter that her husband was. She wasn’t quite as bigoted as the rest of her community was. Every now and then, the film gives you a peek into the ways she rationalizes her behaviors, and you can’t help but understand, if not empathize, at least a little bit.
That being said, good god, this movie dragged. Going in, I had no idea how long it was and I was shocked to learn, upon exiting the theater and looking it up, that it wasn’t, in fact, three and a half hours long. It’s based on a true story, and real life doesn’t have much structure, but man, this film desperately needed some.
BLUE BAYOU (2021)
This is one of those movies that remind you how a person’s day-to-day battles can feel like the beaches in Normandy to them, but nobody sharing the road with that individual could have a clue about any of it. This was a lot. In fact, it dangerously teeters on the edge of being too much.
THE CARD COUNTER (2021)
Oscar Isaac’s William Tell lives his life donning a poker face, keeping his mind on the cards he’s dealt, in whatever city he may find himself running off to on any given day. And he’s happy to play those cards, wasting the days away in windowless casinos, until an opportunity arises to use his talents for something greater than his own lonely vagabond existence. He finds someone to give his days purpose. But everybody is fighting demons, and sometimes other people’s demons can bring to light your own. As an unintended consequence of his search for meaning, William’s reason for living is brought into question, his poker face is disintegrated, and he’s forced to grapple with the very things the cards helped him avoid for so long.
BO BURNHAM: INSIDE (2021)
When I think back on art released during the pandemic, the first three projects that will come to my mind are Taylor Swift’s Folklore and Evermore, and this right here.
DEAR EVAN HANSEN (2021)
It wasn’t until this adaptation came out that I learned that many, many people hate the musical because it’s “problematic” or some shit. God, it must be brutal not letting yourself enjoy things. Dear Evan Hansen, the musical, has brought me so much joy for so many years. Therefore, I quite enjoyed experiencing all of the songs in a whole new way (and even the wonderful songs that were added in).
To criticize this movie is to criticize the decision to make this movie. My biggest problem with this is that it proves why, with the musical, less is more. It felt like almost everything that was added between the songs to make this thing a feature film diminished the overall quality, little by little, until I just found myself anxious to get to the next song that I love as soon as possible, instead of being drawn in by the story being told on the big screen.
There is so much depth and complexity in the songs and the characters and the relationships and the story being told by the musical. When those songs are being performed in the movie, you feel all of that, you see (and hear) what makes the musical so special. I’m not sure this adaptation ever really stood a chance, but when the songs are being sung, you can feel the musical’s beating heart. It’s there in the lyrics, it’s there in the performances, it’s there — and because of that, I simply cannot hate this movie, or even actually dislike it. I would just prefer if it was never made in the first place.
VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE (2021)
This is a story about a married couple working out their differences and accepting each other for who they really are, en route to defeating a villain named Carnage who looks about as cool as one would hope. Once you’ve wrapped your head around all that and dispelled all other expectations, you may find that this is a decent way to spend ninety minutes.
TITANE (2021)
If I took the time to describe this film to somebody with care and utmost accuracy, they’d think I was making shit up on the fly to bait out a response. If I then told them that it’s actually a really sweet story, they’d be sure I was just baiting for a response, and therefore would scoff at me and walk away.
NO TIME TO DIE (2021)
The best of these movies strike close to Bond’s heart. When this final installment with Daniel Craig sets its sights on that, it feels as potent as this franchise has ever gotten. It’s the copious amount of time we spend not concentrating on Bond’s heart that pulls this film down from the heights achieved by the likes of Skyfall and Casino Royale.
MIDNIGHT MASS (2021)
As big a fan as I am of Mike Flanagan (and especially his other Netflix limited series), I wanted nothing more than to love this. Far too often, however, I felt like I was watching an M. Night Shyamalan picture — one that includes a couple remarkable sequences of true horror, some gorgeous cinematography, and enough monologues to fill a bible from front to back.
DUNE (2021)
There comes a point in the final third of this movie where you begin to feel euphoria building in your body as all of the time that’s been spent on world-building and character development starts to come to a head. It is then that you realize that you’re so fucking in for this ride that if this 155-minute movie decides to continue on for another 200 minutes, you’d be ready and willing to experience it all right then and there.
With our hand in his, Denis Villeneuve took great care showing off this world and those who inhabit it. He took his sweet time bathing us in detail. And at some point, when we’re feeling safe but not exactly emotionally invested just yet, he lets go of our hand without us knowing, and by the time we realize it, we’re sucked into the story, feeling with these characters, thrilled by what’s on screen, and eager to see what’s yet to come.
MAID (2021)
I genuinely can’t tell if this series was emotionally manipulative or if it was just masterfully crafted. I felt all of the feelings, and I felt them so damn strongly. This is why the structure of this story, with all of its ebbs and flows, felt almost like too much to handle — so much so that I felt the compulsive need to skip through some scenes because of how hard it would have been for me to watch every excruciating frame of them.
Alex walks through all nine circles of hell to earn every good thing that happens for her and her daughter. Watching her get those good things and then watching as it all gets torn away from her, over and over again, is as close to torture as a story can get as far as I’m concerned. It was the prospect of being delivered a happy ending that kept me going, or else I may have tapped out partway through.
After 540 minutes on this merciless rollercoaster ride, I arrived at the end, glad to finally have gotten there, and glad the ending didn’t send me into a pit of despair. I was delivered the catharsis I desperately needed.
YOU: Season 3 (2021)
This season was exceptional exactly as long as Love and Joe were going to therapy. It was surprising and stirring watching as these two psychopaths worked to understand each other, and to truly understand themselves.
But, all too soon, the most interesting part of this season wrapped itself up with a pretty bow, bringing itself to a close. Then all of the emotional depth of the first few episodes disappeared into thin air. The character arcs that would have made for an exceptional ten-episode journey were abandoned and barely ever mentioned again. It’s incredibly frustrating to be promised development, only to be delivered more of the same.
OVER THE GARDEN WALL (2014)
This sure feels like one of those projects where the creators simply gathered around a table and traded ideas for how they could make each episode as fun as humanly possible — where no ideas are bad ideas, where no suggestion is too out of the box. You could feel the joy that must’ve been felt while making this in every scene.
DUNE (1984)
Bizarrely, due to its heavy-handed exposition, internal monologues, and voiceovers, David Lynch’s film works as a helpful companion piece for Denis Villeneuve’s. It was more blatantly transparent about the characters’ motivations and families’ political intentions — all things I had some trouble wrapping my head around on my first viewing of the most recent adaptation.
Had this film been my initial experience with this story, my reaction to it would have been far more negative and critical. But since I found this strangely useful, I’m actually glad I spent the time to watch it.
LAST NIGHT IN SOHO (2021)
I can’t help but feel as though Edgar Wright couldn’t quite figure out what story he wanted to tell here, what themes he wanted to pursue, or what character he wanted to be his protagonist. This was a bewildering mess of a motion picture.
THE FRENCH DISPATCH (2021)
I thoroughly enjoyed my time with this peculiarly shaped film. I liked two of the stories a lot, and was fine with remaining one. I was regularly astonished by the countless hours and the hard work that it must have taken to bring the meticulously crafted images from the dozens of sets to life on the big screen. Every frame of this film was built from the ground up to be presented exactly the way it was in the final product. Incredible work by the crew, and their visionary writer/director.
BELFAST (2021)
This film is like a beautiful black-and-white photograph of a tight-knit family trying to wade in the waters of their day-to-day existence in a time where their lives are turned on its head by violence in the streets of the only home they’ve ever known.
Often, this is a quiet film. Some of the most impactful moments take place within the pauses in conversations, or after they’ve concluded, when one of the parties have walked away. The camera lingers on a character for a moment or two so that the audience can observe emotions that were previously being held back, but are now being released in private.
The kids in this movie feel like kids, with desires so grand they don’t fit the narrow scope of reality quite yet. The parents feel like parents, with a relationship they have to maintain, bills they have to pay, children that need to be raised. The grandparents feel like grandparents, with stories of their youth, humor and wisdom that could only be formed by living, and dispositions chiseled by those decades past. All of these characters feel like real people — like our neighbors or our friends and family. And this film feels like a stunning snapshot of all of them — of all of us.
TICK, TICK…BOOM! (2021)
Lin-Manuel Miranda directing a musical set in New York City about a struggling artist in his late twenties building his breakout works. It’s filled with spectacular songs, electric performances, and undertones of existential dread.
This movie hits so many of my cinematic soft spots that there was absolutely no way that I wouldn’t love the shit out of it. I literally never stood a chance.
RENT (2005)
Look, it means well. They treated this film like a stage production with a multi-million dollar budget. The sets were decorated like enormous, elaborate stages. The dialogue, the performances, the direction, the cinematography — it was all overly theatrical. This would be fine with the suspension of disbelief that’s required for Broadway, but for the cinema, it simply doesn’t work.
I’d imagine, perhaps, fans of the show would appreciate the approach taken here more than somebody like me, to whom the material is completely fresh. To me, this film often felt like a parody of movie musicals.
THE HARDER THEY FALL (2021)
I imagine the offer to the director going something like this: We’ll give you as much money as you need. We’ll get you an all-star cast. Just go out and make the Western that you’ve been dreaming of making your whole life.
This was funny. It was violent. It juggles tones, but doesn’t feel inconsistent. It subverts expectations, but fits nicely within the genre. This was a whole lot of fun.
HOUSE OF GUCCI (2021)
For the love of God, decide what story you want to tell and just tell that story. Do you want to tell the story of Maurizio and Patrizia’s relationship? Great, there’s a wide variety of ways you can approach that, and you even get the added benefit of having a true story with a delicious ending to it all. Do you want to tell the story of an iconic family business where the business tore the family apart? Great, there’s plenty of meat there and plenty of characters that can shine amid a plot filled with betrayals and heartbreak.
Pick only one story among the handful of them that can be told out of these events and tell that story as best as you can. Do not, however, cram everything into a movie that lasts over one hundred and fifty minutes and gives us exactly zero characters to give even one shit about.
C’MON C’MON (2021)
This film adores its characters and endeavors to understand them at a depth that few films dare to do. Mike Mills carved so deeply into both of these people that they ceased being Unmarried Adult Man and Nine Year Old Boy. They were ground down to the point that they were on the same level, where age didn’t matter, where physical bodies didn’t matter. By the end, they were on a level field, and we were examining two human beings simply trying to make sense of their respective worlds, understand their complicated emotions, navigate their complex personalities, and find comfort and deep connection within their unique relationships. These two beautiful characters seeped into my being the way they seeped into each other’s. I felt like I was leaving friends behind as I walked out of the theater.
THE POWER OF THE DOG (2021)
Benedict Cumberbatch is mesmerizing. The conflicts taking place between all of the characters are mesmerizing. The aesthetic contents within every frame are mesmerizing. Jonny Greenwood‘s score is mesmerizing. Jane Campion‘s film is utterly mesmerizing.
ARCANE: Season 1 (2021)
As somebody who has never played League of Legends, I cannot fathom how somebody who has played the game (or is even familiar with the game) could enjoy this show as much as I did. The twists and turns that this takes would pack a far softer punch if you knew where these characters were going, or if you knew which characters would have to survive in order for them to end up in the game in the first place.
These protagonists change so much it’s probably better to say that they evolve — and if I knew that these evolutions were coming, or I knew where these evolutions were going, it would not have felt as satisfying when it finally did happen. In fact, since finishing the season, I’ve gone back and watched the teasers and trailers for the show — they all have that evolution on full display. For that reason, I recommend avoiding those altogether.
All of this being said, I’m sure there is plenty of enjoyment to be had in seeing the characters that were introduced at the start of the series gradually make their way toward the characters that the people familiar with League of Legends have so much affection for. Surely, the sign-posts toward those final forms would be fun for gamers to pick up on.
Spending time with your protagonists as younger versions of where the story will eventually spend most of its time is a strong narrative tool when handled correctly. Off the top of my head, as of writing this immediately after finishing the final episode, I can’t think of an example of this tool being used better than how it was used in this series. The first third (3 of the first 9 episodes) were used to establish these characters in their younger years. Everything we need to know about why these characters are the way they are is laid out in those first three episodes. The relationships and the emotional stakes are established in those first three episodes.
This season never quite reaches the stratospheric highs of those episodes, but (and I cannot emphasize this enough) that isn’t because it falls off a cliff in the latter six — it’s just because the first three are so damn phenomenal. The season does end with a bang, however, as it takes its fingers and presses hard on the emotional heartbeat of the show: the bond between the two sisters front and center.
I’ve just gone on and on about the characters and the story’s structure but I would be remiss if I ended this review without at least touching on the fact that this show is a scrumptious three-course feast for the eyes. The animation is astonishing and the visual storytelling is truly spectacular — especially on closer examination or a rewatch.
THE WITCHER: Season 1 (2019)
A lot of the hate for this season has come from people who have read the short stories that these episodes are based on. I have not read those short stories, and perhaps that is why I quite enjoyed this first season. The time jumps seemed to bother people as well— and that, too, did not bother me in the slightest. I’d imagine my desperate desire for fantasy storytelling to flood our screens (both small and silver) has a part to play in my ability to look past the flaws in these first eight episodes, in favor of seeing all of the good and the overflowing potential for what this series could be.
I first watched this season the weekend it came out, almost exactly two years ago, and I still, to this day, randomly find myself thinking about the storyline with Renfri in that very first episode. It stands alone within those sixty minutes and shows how great this series’ character-work can be (and should be). Also, that sword fight at the end of the episode showed how great the action in this series can be: minimal cutting, brutal kills, dance-like choreography, stakes based in character — truly beautiful stuff.
THE WITCHER: Season 2 (2021)
Watching this hurt my soul — not because it was offensively bad, but because it wasn’t good. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that it chose not to be good. The fact that there is so much incredible source material to pull from makes the goal of a high-quality series seem so attainable for a company that can provide a budget as big as Netflix can.
It didn’t take long before the creeping dread snuck into the pit of my stomach as what I was watching onscreen started to feel like a soap opera. The writing, the acting, the blocking and the overall direction — it all felt undercooked. The wigs were especially bothersome this time around. The choreography in the fight sequences were underwhelming. And the final straw came when Ciri started to use her powers as a means to keep her and Yennefer alive: Four drops of blood came slipping out of her eyes and stayed in place with the artificiality of a student film made by an accounting major for an Introduction to Directing course which he only took because he needed a creative art credit for his bachelor’s degree, at a school that has as many resources for their filmmaking classes as can fit in a small closet in the college’s cellar. When I saw that, I lost hope in this season redeeming itself.
The first episode adapts yet another short story from the collections, which I was not familiar with. I enjoyed that episode quite a bit as it felt like the episodes of the season before, for good reason. After that episode, however, began the story that fans had been promised would be an adaptation of the Witcher novels written by Andrzej Sapkowski (as of writing this review, I’ve completed just over 60% of those books). Time and time again, leading up to the release of this season, Henry Cavill and showrunner Lauren Schmidt Hissrich had promised to be faithful to the novels, starting with Blood of Elves. Having read that first book in the series, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Henry and Lauren were either lying or have very different definitions for what the word “faithful” means — shit, their definitions of “adaptation” might also need to be brought into question at this point. I understand needing to change up some storylines for the sake of making an interesting television show. I understand moving things around in order to fix the pacing issues the novels may have. But this is not an adaptation of the source material, faithful or otherwise. This is a reimagining of the world of the Witcher. And what pains me the most is that this is also a reimagining of the characters within the Witcher’s story. These characters are not the ones in the books or the massively popular games. The names are the same, but some diverge so far from their source that Lauren Schmidt Hissrich may as well have made the executive decision to change the name of the character entirely in lieu of butchering the characters that are so beloved by so many.
If I had never started reading the books or I had never played the games, if I had no prior knowledge of these characters or the stories that they’re a part of, I may have enjoyed this season more — but that is not a reality in which I live. Therefore, it’s hard for me not to get petty when sharing my displeasure with it. These eight episodes not only made for a frustrating eight or so hours, but it also tainted my feelings toward the season that preceded it, which left me hopeful for what the future of this series might hold. Seeing that these hopes did not come to fruition, and seeing the direction where this series seems hellbent on heading, has left a sour taste in my mouth that I am not confident will be (or could be) removed by future installments.
SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021)
Precedents set by many a superhero movie of the past has taught me to keep my expectations low for films like this. History and the disappointments that fill it set me up for one of the most rewarding and entertaining theatrical experiences I’ve ever had in my life.
I thought that the only way this movie could work was if the characters from the other universes only appeared as glorified cameos. But I was so very wrong. Somehow, this film manages to not only effectively use all of the characters from the different universes but to also build on a couple of them, making for incredibly satisfying moments for characters we thought we may never see again on the silver screen — heroes and villains alike. This movie does all of that while still giving Tom Holland’s Spider-Man a meaty, deeply emotional journey of his own.
I went into this thinking there was no way in hell it could be good. I’m walking away thinking that No Way Home might be my second favorite MCU movie of all time.
BEING THE RICARDOS (2021)
The parts were more compelling than the whole with this one. The majority of individual scenes did an admirable job at holding my attention and making me care about the conflicts at the center of them — be it the workplace politics, or a back and forth among bickering artists about a creative choice. But, one after another, the scenes didn’t feel as though they were gracefully coming together into a single solid story. Perhaps it was for this reason that the climax felt like a few of the notes had crescendoed beautifully while many were left ringing out of tune with no direction or end in sight.
ENCANTO (2021)
Yet another magical entry to the Disney catalog. Empathy for these characters is established so effectively that it almost feels as though it’s established effortlessly — but of course, it takes great effort to make something look or feel effortless. We first feel strongly for Mirabel, then for everybody else, as they bare their souls and show the hearts within the humans that are at the core, under the superpowers that they’ve been gifted with.
DON’T LOOK UP (2021)
This movie kind of just bummed me out — and not only because of the subject matter or the accuracy of the parts of our real lives that it’s satirizing. It made me giggle a couple of times, sure. But the filmmaking bummed me out. The storytelling, the character-work, they did too. I found myself yearning for some heart in these end of days, but I did not receive what I desired.
The Netflix tagline for this film is, “Two astronomers go on a media tour to warn humankind of a planet-killing comet hurtling toward earth. The response from a distracted world: Meh.” Well, my response to this movie is pretty much the exact same.
WEST SIDE STORY (2021)
There is a wonderful compromise struck here between the theatrical and the roots of reality. We go from blocking to choreography without a stutter step. We go from wide shots that show off the beautifully decorated sets which feel like vast stages to close up shots of faces with eyes peering into each other. We go from spotlights on characters as they dance to three-point lights as they whisper softly to one another. The songs stand iconic. The story is a classic. The heart beats loud within this, and breaks with a crack.
When you sit through hundreds of movies every year, you learn to greatly appreciate the feeling of being in the warm embrace of a master filmmaker. You get to just sit back and get casually awed by just how good they are at what they do. Steven Spielberg is very good at what he does, and this is yet another example of it.
NIGHTMARE ALLEY (2021)
I feel like I just watched the first, middle, and final episodes of the best new big budget limited series on HBO. Make of that what you will.
